Overdue

Anyone of you ever been overdue in your pregnancy?  Seriously, I couldn't imagine carrying a baby for 10 months and then going past my due date.  I tend to get kind of impatient.  Kind of like how on April 1, 2012 when we announced our adoption, I knew I would freak if we didn't have our child by the average time frame.  Well, here we are, nearly one year later and I find myself having to tell everyone that we probably won't get him until 2014.  Ugh.  There are two reasons for this.  First, I can't tell myself he's coming this year and have to endure December 31, 2013 as a family of two.  Second, the law changes in South Korea regarding international adoption have delayed things quite a bit.  The laws changed August 1, 2012 and the first international adoption court date isn't scheduled until mid April.

Our little man at 5 days old...

  

 Of course, there are things that give me hope that he may come sooner.  Truth be told Kristina wants him to come for Christmas.  As her gift or as her cousin I'm not sure, but she has suddenly and sporadically taken an interest to him.  For example, she never wanted to talk about him, see him, or ask about him since we've been matched.  I think there is some jealously that was leading the lack of interest.  We're super close...super close.  To put it into perspective, this girl told her mom she didn't want to live with her any more but wanted to live with me.  Thankfully, my sister and I live next to each other now.  While typing this I can see my backyard butting into her back yard.  Kristina is my mini-me, if a niece can be an Aunt's mini-me.  But, one of my dearest, sweetest friends Julie had a necklace made for me.  It has a circle with "waiting" engraved onto it and lying inside the circle is a charm of Korea.

Kristina is quick to notice everything, every little thing...so she immediately new the necklace was new.  She was enthralled with knowing what waiting meant and that the charm is a picture of where Isaiah lives.  I can't revisit the memory without tearing up.  My girl was finally wanting to know about my little guy!  She started talking about him, that she missed him, wanted to see him, and from then on asks me if he is at my house yet.  She had one little concern, can she still sleep in my bed and does she have to share her room with him at my house?  I skimmed over the sleeping part and reminded her that he has his own room and my house and she and Kylie have their own room at my house.  She was content with that.  I'm hoping she doesn't want to sleep with us in 2014 because she is too much to sleep with in 2013!  Bottom line, I cherish that necklace more than a person could imagine because it has started the relationship with Kristina and Isaiah.
                                           
Now, Kylie...she always asks to see "Baby I-say-uh".  She says his name totally correct, but how she emphasizes different pieces is bar nun the cutest thing I've ever heard.  She is constantly telling me she loves him, misses him, and wants to go get him with us.  I could let her, but Chris says no.  Meanie.  I've shown her picture of other Asian kids and she certainly knows that they are not him.  She is going to do great with him.  They are going to do great with him.

Other people that bless my heart, our brothers.  Luke and Hunter are so freakin' excited it is hilarious.  While spending his spring break on the east cost looking at law schools (yeah, that's right...law schools--I may have just sat up a little straighter and smiled a bit in pride) he decides that VA is too far away when he has nephews in the Midwest.  Hunter and Luke bought Isaiah a suit for church that is a size 8 after hearing one of Chris' sermons.  Chris' dad melts my heart with his text messages and Facebook posts about his "klan" or grandson.  My dad is good for a one-liner at random as well.  Several people I work with give him shout-outs often too and it confirms that he is going to fit right in our lives.  One sweet friend gave me a hand-stitched doll from Korea.  It belonged to her mother, given to her by missionaries.  The doll has authentic clothing and is a Korean mother wearing her son on her back.  Let me clarify, she's 99% sure it's from Korea, but if it's not I'm okay with that too.

                                             

We've had conference calls with the Holt Korea team but we aren't at liberty to publicly say what's what, but I can say they have a team of advocates in Holt Korea that petition the court often for changes to the new laws and have been successful.  For that, we are so thankful because staying in Korea for 3-4 weeks without our son was not looking like fun.

So, until things start moving we will be renewing documents for the adoption that expire after one year like home studies and bio-metric fingerprints.  His room is painted, there is no crib for him, no toys, no decorations on the wall.  I've placed some clothes in the closet so they don't settle with that funky plastic bin smell and I just printed the first set of actual pictures of Isaiah instead of having them solely on multimedia devices.  We think about him often and talk about him in moderation.  Don't judge until you've been there.  Talking about a son that isn't even legally yours and could just as likely not be as he could be is a bit touchy.

On a final note, on Thursday we received a few pictures of Isaiah...he looks like a kindergarten kid!  I get the email and rush to my office to check it out because the subject says "Photos".  I download the images, gasp, and send my mother-in-law a text (we work together) that says, "My office ASAP!!!"  She responds with, "On the landline."  I was ready to have a screaming fit over the pictures.  The yelling, stomping, on the floor tantrum full of the notorious little kid lines such as, "It's not fair", "I hate this", "I want him now!"  You get the picture.  Instead, a friend from high school who is also a coworker stopped by on her way out to ask about my delight in concluding a difficult discharge.  It threw her for a loop when I looked up with water bucket eyes.  She came right in and gave me a hug then saw his picture.  She was absolutely what I needed, complete with genuine sympathy, with love and support.  I felt better after that, much better.  But the truth is, it's not fair to my heart and I want him now.